Me: What is a habitual drunkard?
Student: Someone who drinks too much coffee.
General laughter
Me: 登先生，如果是咖啡，那，我是habitual drunkard. （Mr.Deng, if it's coffee, than I'm a habitual drunkard.)
Showing posts with label english teaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label english teaching. Show all posts
Friday, November 02, 2007
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Finally an interesting story or two
so now I'm semi recovered from being sick. For serious, only just now am I recovering from being sick. I think it's been like three weeks or something. I took the stupidest route possible when confronted with a fever which is to pile on the covers and go to bed. Fever nightmares are the worst. However, when I woke up, my fever had broken. Although I was left with a positively Dickensian cough, which I felt I needed some cold attic to really do it properly.
Anyway, teaching old people has been an educational experience. I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that teaching of any kind is an educational experience. When I taught kids, I realized that kids are actually people, more or less fully formed, just with less inhibitions and experience. Now that I teach old people, I realize that old people are sometimes just like 16 year olds, only with less hormones. I.e., old people are actually human beings, with faults, lots of faults. With petty feuds, and teachers pets and the whole deal.
Sometimes it can be cool though. I was listening to one of my students talk to me about her experiences during the Cultural Revolution, which is pretty interesting. I mean I've read about it in books. But listening to someone tell me about it was quite different. I'm not sure how many of my students really believe in America and love it, but it's hard to doubt the truth of what she says. I think she really loves America. Although she also knows that American people are not completely equal, but more equal than they are in China. She also seems to really dislike Communism, in part because of the Cultural Revolution (I'm going to be a Chinese studies jerk, and not explain what it is because I'm lazy this morning) and in part because of June 4th (again with the Chinese Studies jerk).
Which makes it doubly interesting for me, since I don't particularly love America. I've learned to take very little of what any of these people say at face value, as my predecessor told me, "We are givers of good things." which is why most of them are nice to us. Some of them are nice because they are grateful for our help. Very few are actually nice because they like us. I think my student who loves America falls into the second category, she's nice because she's grateful for the help. However, she's among the most emotionally mature of our students, so I'll take what I can get.
I have some thoughts about the N400, or immigration form. But they'll have to wait until later.
Anyway, teaching old people has been an educational experience. I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that teaching of any kind is an educational experience. When I taught kids, I realized that kids are actually people, more or less fully formed, just with less inhibitions and experience. Now that I teach old people, I realize that old people are sometimes just like 16 year olds, only with less hormones. I.e., old people are actually human beings, with faults, lots of faults. With petty feuds, and teachers pets and the whole deal.
Sometimes it can be cool though. I was listening to one of my students talk to me about her experiences during the Cultural Revolution, which is pretty interesting. I mean I've read about it in books. But listening to someone tell me about it was quite different. I'm not sure how many of my students really believe in America and love it, but it's hard to doubt the truth of what she says. I think she really loves America. Although she also knows that American people are not completely equal, but more equal than they are in China. She also seems to really dislike Communism, in part because of the Cultural Revolution (I'm going to be a Chinese studies jerk, and not explain what it is because I'm lazy this morning) and in part because of June 4th (again with the Chinese Studies jerk).
Which makes it doubly interesting for me, since I don't particularly love America. I've learned to take very little of what any of these people say at face value, as my predecessor told me, "We are givers of good things." which is why most of them are nice to us. Some of them are nice because they are grateful for our help. Very few are actually nice because they like us. I think my student who loves America falls into the second category, she's nice because she's grateful for the help. However, she's among the most emotionally mature of our students, so I'll take what I can get.
I have some thoughts about the N400, or immigration form. But they'll have to wait until later.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Old people make for less funny stories
"A person who makes you afraid." my student's (tongue-in-cheek) definition of the word terrorist.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
All hail
The Great God Insomnia. Patron God of those who drink too much coffee and think too damn much.
Seriously though, this is my last day of informing classes that I will be leaving next week. One of my kids found out from her sister yesterday, and followed me out to the elevator holding my hand. Unfortunately her English level's not high enough for me to really talk to her about it, and I'm not allowed to speak Chinese to them. She's a great kid, I have a feeling I would have liked her even more if we'd been able to communicate better. 但有緣沒有分。
Seriously though, this is my last day of informing classes that I will be leaving next week. One of my kids found out from her sister yesterday, and followed me out to the elevator holding my hand. Unfortunately her English level's not high enough for me to really talk to her about it, and I'm not allowed to speak Chinese to them. She's a great kid, I have a feeling I would have liked her even more if we'd been able to communicate better. 但有緣沒有分。
Friday, May 11, 2007
I just had a really weird experience
so we have a new student in my class of mostly older students. Her name's Doris, she picked it herself, so I refrained from requesting that she change it. Tonight she told me that she was a boy and that three of the girls in our class were her girlfriends. She stressed that she was only a boy for today, and her name was Tom.
Ok, I haven't really written a whole lot about being queer in Taiwan. People know that it goes on, but people just don't talk about it. So for a teenage kid, a 7th grader, to bring it up, honestly pretty openly and ostentatiously like that, really surprised me.
The other girls in the class, including her "girlfriends" seemed slightly uncomfortable but I think mostly not sure what to make of it. I decided to treat it like nothing unusual was happening. I called her Tom, which was the name that she requested that I call her. Until she informed me later that she was a girl again. Then I went back to Doris.
The only time I really stepped in was when she cornered another girl by the bathroom. One, the other girl's pretty immature, I don't think she really knew what was going on, and she didn't seem entirely comfortable with what was going on.
It's difficult for me to read really. Is she trying something out, making a play for attention, maybe not sure herself? It almost seemed too aggressive and open to be genuine, but I could be wrong. I'll have to wait and see what happens I guess. I asked my TA what she thought about it, and all she said was that she thought it was "weird." Again, it's a pretty taboo subject here, so no one's going to bring it up.
But I can't deny she's got guts.
Ok, I haven't really written a whole lot about being queer in Taiwan. People know that it goes on, but people just don't talk about it. So for a teenage kid, a 7th grader, to bring it up, honestly pretty openly and ostentatiously like that, really surprised me.
The other girls in the class, including her "girlfriends" seemed slightly uncomfortable but I think mostly not sure what to make of it. I decided to treat it like nothing unusual was happening. I called her Tom, which was the name that she requested that I call her. Until she informed me later that she was a girl again. Then I went back to Doris.
The only time I really stepped in was when she cornered another girl by the bathroom. One, the other girl's pretty immature, I don't think she really knew what was going on, and she didn't seem entirely comfortable with what was going on.
It's difficult for me to read really. Is she trying something out, making a play for attention, maybe not sure herself? It almost seemed too aggressive and open to be genuine, but I could be wrong. I'll have to wait and see what happens I guess. I asked my TA what she thought about it, and all she said was that she thought it was "weird." Again, it's a pretty taboo subject here, so no one's going to bring it up.
But I can't deny she's got guts.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Songs of Resistance
So following my request that they please stop singing, my class responded by singing "Don't sing."
I have more amusing students than I deserve.
I have more amusing students than I deserve.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Things which bother me
Gentle readers, there are a few things which I have to get off my chest. They have been accumulating for about 1 and a half years now. So let's just get them over with.
When people tell a woman who just got her hair permed that her hair is beautiful because "it looks just like a foreigner's" or a handsome man is described as having a "nose like a foreigner" this bothers me.
When my student tells me that Chinese people are lazy because they can't distinguish between he and she in English*, this bothers me.
When I tell my boss some people think that Asians are not as creative as white people, and she replies "We aren't." in a tone of great certainty, this bothers me.
When people bob and smile and offer free discounts to white foreigners, this galls me.
When I explain the word "homemaker" and my student exclaims"Oh, like a Filipino maid!"in a tone of deepest contempt, this fucking bothers me.
When my student treats his Vietnamese maid like she's not even there when she comes to pick him up, this bothers me.
When no one but me talks to a student's Malaysian mother, even though she speaks Chinese, and everyone criticizes her parenting, because she's foreign, this bothers me.
When my student's father tells his daughter that America is dangerous because the "blacks and Mexicans kill each other and take drugs," this bothers the living fuck out of me.
Y'know when I first got here, I thought I would think about race differently. And I do. But these are the times when I wonder if it isn't just the same all over.
*The words for he and she sound the same in Chinese. For those who don't know Chinese, if you studied a Romantic language in high school, think of remembering the gender of every noun. Simple in concept, annoying and unintuitive in practice.
When people tell a woman who just got her hair permed that her hair is beautiful because "it looks just like a foreigner's" or a handsome man is described as having a "nose like a foreigner" this bothers me.
When my student tells me that Chinese people are lazy because they can't distinguish between he and she in English*, this bothers me.
When I tell my boss some people think that Asians are not as creative as white people, and she replies "We aren't." in a tone of great certainty, this bothers me.
When people bob and smile and offer free discounts to white foreigners, this galls me.
When I explain the word "homemaker" and my student exclaims"Oh, like a Filipino maid!"in a tone of deepest contempt, this fucking bothers me.
When my student treats his Vietnamese maid like she's not even there when she comes to pick him up, this bothers me.
When no one but me talks to a student's Malaysian mother, even though she speaks Chinese, and everyone criticizes her parenting, because she's foreign, this bothers me.
When my student's father tells his daughter that America is dangerous because the "blacks and Mexicans kill each other and take drugs," this bothers the living fuck out of me.
Y'know when I first got here, I thought I would think about race differently. And I do. But these are the times when I wonder if it isn't just the same all over.
*The words for he and she sound the same in Chinese. For those who don't know Chinese, if you studied a Romantic language in high school, think of remembering the gender of every noun. Simple in concept, annoying and unintuitive in practice.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Lucky Jack
So I have this second grader, who first came to the school with the name Lucky. Fortunately, unlike the other Lucky that we have, he was smart enough to want to change his name. So he changed it to Jack, after Captain Jack Sparrow. He's very very small, and I can't say that he's cute necessarily, but he is extremely smart and has a very strong personality.
Apparently while I was finishing up the oral test last week, he entertained the rest of the class by dancing. For five minutes. So on Friday I requested that he repeat his dancing. And he did. I'm not sure if it's gongfu, because it kind of looked like it might be. However, some of it looked rather come hither-ish so it very well may be some other kind of dancing that he learned from...somewhere.
Jack is kind of a pirate.
Apparently while I was finishing up the oral test last week, he entertained the rest of the class by dancing. For five minutes. So on Friday I requested that he repeat his dancing. And he did. I'm not sure if it's gongfu, because it kind of looked like it might be. However, some of it looked rather come hither-ish so it very well may be some other kind of dancing that he learned from...somewhere.
Jack is kind of a pirate.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
It is difficult to be grumpy when
the weather stops being a tease, and we have a sunny day once in a while. I have a new Blonde Redhead CD to listen to, and I am eating Thai curry. It's delicious! I think I'm going to eat at that stand a lot more from now on! I've been eating Chinese food more or less straight for almost 2 years now, so it's good to take a break.
10 more days until my next day off.
That said, I taught my favorite class the word "body" as in dead body. You know, they remember the weirdest stuff, I only said it once. And now Wendy will come up to the board and draw stick figures with big x's for eyes and label them "body", how does she even remember how to spell that? Why can't she remember some of her vocabulary words but she can remember this. Also on Tuesday, in that class, they started pulling out their hair and giving it to me. It was kind of weird.
Also, when I taught the "There are two chairs in the bedroom." sentence pattern, they came up with "There are twenty eyes in the bathroom." and made graphic stabbing motions.
Why do people entrust me with their children again?
10 more days until my next day off.
That said, I taught my favorite class the word "body" as in dead body. You know, they remember the weirdest stuff, I only said it once. And now Wendy will come up to the board and draw stick figures with big x's for eyes and label them "body", how does she even remember how to spell that? Why can't she remember some of her vocabulary words but she can remember this. Also on Tuesday, in that class, they started pulling out their hair and giving it to me. It was kind of weird.
Also, when I taught the "There are two chairs in the bedroom." sentence pattern, they came up with "There are twenty eyes in the bathroom." and made graphic stabbing motions.
Why do people entrust me with their children again?
Saturday, April 07, 2007
*$&# this
If Eric Liu fucking spends the entire lesson texting someone on his cell phone and then shows it to his goddamn wife when he thinks I'm not looking, I will not be responsible for my actions or my blood pressure.
I've been angry from about 11:30 am to now. Good for the circulation, that.
On a more positive note, I read Magniloquence's post about hair politics and this has soothed my savage breast somewhat. If only because it is quite complex, interesting, and personal all at the same time.
Fuck this work shit, I'm going to go sleep on my mother's couch and sell my plasma.
On a more negative note, (is there any other kind of note with me?) apparently it is confirmed Jet Li is in talks to be the villain in the Mummy 3. Y'know, now I'm kind of glad Bruce Lee died young. Just so it never came to something like this.
I've been angry from about 11:30 am to now. Good for the circulation, that.
On a more positive note, I read Magniloquence's post about hair politics and this has soothed my savage breast somewhat. If only because it is quite complex, interesting, and personal all at the same time.
Fuck this work shit, I'm going to go sleep on my mother's couch and sell my plasma.
On a more negative note, (is there any other kind of note with me?) apparently it is confirmed Jet Li is in talks to be the villain in the Mummy 3. Y'know, now I'm kind of glad Bruce Lee died young. Just so it never came to something like this.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Hot or Cold
Here mothers will sometimes dress their children in ridiculous amounts of clothes. Four layers on a day where it's maybe 50 degrees on the inside. The kids are hot and therefore will request the AC. This offends my Captain Planet raised sense of conservation of resources and usually an argument will ensue something like this.
Kid: Teacher, I'm hot.
Me: How many?
Kid: pointing at clothing: 3 (or 4 sometimes)
Me: Take off your sweater (or shirt)
Kid: No!
Me: Then you're not hot.
Kid: Teacher I'm hot.
Now some of them, curse them, think it's funny and will start this whole exchange on purpose.english
Kid: Teacher, I'm hot.
Me: How many?
Kid: pointing at clothing: 3 (or 4 sometimes)
Me: Take off your sweater (or shirt)
Kid: No!
Me: Then you're not hot.
Kid: Teacher I'm hot.
Now some of them, curse them, think it's funny and will start this whole exchange on purpose.english
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Hooray for nicknames
My students have started calling me "Koala." It bears a slight resemblance to my real name. Children have started giving me stupid nicknames. It's really time to get out of here.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Love triangle
There's totally a love triangle developing among my sixth graders. Alice has consistently liked Wayne (Ichiro) for quite some time. Which both me and my friend Iris have noted with amusement. However Wayne's a typical 12 year old boy, and he has no clue. Yet every 10 minute break, Alice is always right by Wayne, giving him crap.
However recently, one of the other boys, Greg, and Alice have been having these yelling matches. And Patrick, another student, commented “一個兩口" or "Oh, a couple." I think Patrick might have something there. It's like a Korean soap opera only with 6th graders. How will it end?
It's funny how this stuff which used to annoy the hell out of me when I was younger, I find sort of amusing now.
Anyway, I'm also in the midst of planning a month long trip to China and Japan in the summer. I hope to hit Hong Kong, Shanghai, Suzhou, Hangzhou, Beijing, Osaka, Kyoto, and Tokyo. Possibly in that order. If you've been there and want to tell me something that's cool to do, send me an e-mail.
However recently, one of the other boys, Greg, and Alice have been having these yelling matches. And Patrick, another student, commented “一個兩口" or "Oh, a couple." I think Patrick might have something there. It's like a Korean soap opera only with 6th graders. How will it end?
It's funny how this stuff which used to annoy the hell out of me when I was younger, I find sort of amusing now.
Anyway, I'm also in the midst of planning a month long trip to China and Japan in the summer. I hope to hit Hong Kong, Shanghai, Suzhou, Hangzhou, Beijing, Osaka, Kyoto, and Tokyo. Possibly in that order. If you've been there and want to tell me something that's cool to do, send me an e-mail.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Random Observation
I may have to gain back some of the weight that I lost, or just like, work out more or something. Some of my third and fourth graders can totally push me around (literally!) And don't even mention Josh, the fifth grader who's small and built like a barrel.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
New exciting (and not so exciting and not so new) things in my life
One of my students, Heidi, comes up to me often and pats my butt and says "My hips!" I'm not really sure where she's getting this. Definitely not from me.
Learning how to make frozen steamed buns without a microwave or an oven. Just some water and a pan. My cooking reaches new heights.
One of my students Evan has completely mastered how to imitate my voice saying "Sit down now!"
The Decemberists' new CD The Crane Wife. Very very cool, and new! Just when I think that all the bands I like have started to suck, I get some evidence to the contrary.
Learning how to make frozen steamed buns without a microwave or an oven. Just some water and a pan. My cooking reaches new heights.
One of my students Evan has completely mastered how to imitate my voice saying "Sit down now!"
The Decemberists' new CD The Crane Wife. Very very cool, and new! Just when I think that all the bands I like have started to suck, I get some evidence to the contrary.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Sisters
In one of my classes, I have three pairs of sisters. And it's always interesting to me how something the older sister does within 1-5 minutes will be imitated by the younger sister. It's kind of amazing. I guess I forgot how closely sisters imitate each other.
Speaking of that class, they're a very touchy class. During the break, I'll usually be in the middle of a pile of children, with one sitting on my lap, two on either side and usually someone behind me too. It's like having 9 little sisters.
Speaking of that class, they're a very touchy class. During the break, I'll usually be in the middle of a pile of children, with one sitting on my lap, two on either side and usually someone behind me too. It's like having 9 little sisters.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
Some (not so) amusing things about teaching
1) One day during break I ran into a kindergarten student at my school named Eric Li coming out of the bathroom. He did this double take and then ran out to the front desk anonouncing “老師上了廁所。" The teacher went to the bathroom! I forgot that at the age of six, you don't know your teachers are real people who sometimes use the bathroom.
2) Hiccoughs in class. It's ok if you're a student and you hiccough. But a teacher isn't supposed to get them. I've had them in class. It's not fun.
2) Hiccoughs in class. It's ok if you're a student and you hiccough. But a teacher isn't supposed to get them. I've had them in class. It's not fun.
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