Conversations from a non-profit

Vietnamese American coworker (setting other Vietnamese coworker up on a date): He drives a BMW, he works at Boeing....
Vietnamese American coworker 2: But is he interested in social justice?

Conversation from work

Vietnamese teacher complaining about his grandmother-esque boss yells at him all the time: She kills me all the time!
Me: Maybe she yells at you because she loves you best.
Vietnamese teacher: Oh please.

Fred Thompson

Whenever I see Fred Thompson on Law and Order I want to throw something at the television. Not only because he's Fred Thompson, but because he reminds me of a particularly heinous boss I had. One, whom some readers of this blog who know me in real life will remember would some times say "Mah partner..." Never fails to send a shiver down my spine.

Let's hope Fred Thompson doesn't start talking about his partner.

試試看

Hahaha, behold my messing about on the Chinese version of Youtube. Even more Flowers videos I haven't seen. Look upon my works and despair!

Anyway, the more I watch, such as this early early video



the weirder it seems that these guys are apparently Olympic spokespeople. Their attitude really doesn't scream "sportsmanship"



I realize that this must get kind of tiresome. But honestly, if you're still reading this blog you must be used to my bizarre obsessions by now.

Making up for lost time

This video is probably funniest if you've watched as much Mandarin pop as I have. Since it makes fun of some of the common tropes of the "love" music videos. However, it's equally amusing to watch Da Zhangwei, the lead singer, attempt to look soulful and fail miserably. (The narrowing of his eyes equals depth!) He's way more fun when he's bouncing around acting like a 15 year old. I'm actually not sure if this video is even meant to be taken seriously, (Star Wars masks?), but even if it is, Asian MTV would be way funnier if there were more videos like this.

Too late for Thanksgiving but

this clearly and succinctly sums up my feelings about the Pilgrims.

Note to self

If/when I become a C-pop megastar, I will not do the following things:
1) Make a music video featuring myself as some kind of Asian Cowboy featuring random white children, Riverdancing, dutch hats, fifties dancing and line dancing, in some bizarre patische of "period" America. NOT COOL



2) Make a puke worthy vanity music video. At least this time the song is ok.


3) I will not make a movie called Kung Fu fucking Dunk. Initial D i.e. the Jay Chou racing movie was tolerable, but in spite of Jay rather than because of Jay.

Over and out.

And for the Chinese speakers in the house

Me: 你以爲你的名字擁有女生的味道嗎?
Friend: Where did that question come from?
Me: Well recently I've been having a lot of conversations about Chinese names, and your name came up. My friend was like "Wow, that name is kind of girly,"which surprised me.I didn't think it was that girly particularly. But then I'm not Chinese.
Friend: Yeah, i think i complained about this before.It is kind of girly.
Me: I thought it was just because it's close to Hien and other Vietnamese names.
Friend: I think those masculine Chinese names are all based on achievement and ass kicking and stuff like that."
Me: Oh, like 成功　ｏｒ　ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｔｈａｔ?
Friend: Hahaha yeah something with 强 或者打, 杀
me: 打？你肯定是開玩笑的啦
Friend: 很有男气， 哈哈哈
me: 好的，　好的，　你生了兒子，你就這樣命名他啦
Friend: 哈哈
Me: 讓世界看到厲害
Friend: 刘打杀, 刘干掉

Hey it's been a while

Clearly I've been crazy busy because I haven't really noticed.
So here you go. I told you happiness was a new Flowers album.

Taiwanese pop interlude

I'll be honest. The tune's kind of catchy, but the video really embodies anything and everything wrong with Chinese pop today. Hapless people in animal costumes, pouty men with mullets, the notion that all of this is "cool." As my friend says, Chinese pop is the only thing that simultaneously makes you cringe and tap your foot at the same time.

When the lovelesscynic has to attend bullshit orientation activities,

she gets angry. So this guy came in to teach us about different types of leadership styles. Which I'm already not into. But he comes in and uses Tibetan prayer bells to signal when he's going to end the activity. And talks about how he went to some college for graduate school founded by a Tibetan monk. (So you already know what I'm thinking.)

But then he introduces the leadership styles. And there are four, says him. Based on the directions of a compass. North=forceful, decisive. West=logical, analytical. East=mystical, visionary. South= emotional, feeling based.

Now, I had to spend 4 plus hours listening to this guy. But at a certain point, I figured something out. The Leadership Compass is totally racist! Why are the North and West points of the compass weighted towards rational thinking and decisive action. Whereas the Southern part is ruled by irrational emotions. And the mystical East, well, we all know what I think about the mystical East.

Racism and foul play is afoot. Not to mention some major cultural appropriation. There was also an Insufferable Gandhi Story. Which is almost as unbearable as an Insufferable Mother Teresa Story. I felt an overwhelming desire to read him Salman Rushdie's essay on Gandhi just to shut him up.

And this at an AmeriCorps orientation no less.


Over and out.

So I ask you

what is it in public restrooms that causes Republican politicians to catch the gay?

Certainly it can't be the decor.

Gratuitous Mandarin Pop Break

我的果汁分你一半-花兒樂隊 （I'll give you half my fruit juice- The Flowers)


For those of you Mandarin pop followers out there, yes I know they rip songs off other people. For some reason I don't care.

Things which make me happy

I've been rather depressed. Too much inaction, not enough to do, etc. etc. So I've put some active effort into finding things that amuse you. If you're as grumpy as I am about the crappy weather, this ought to put a smile on your face. I really like them. They're not great art, but hey, they make me happy.

I would just like everyone to know

I have hated Joe Lieberman since he ran for VP back in the day. I have yelled at him while my mother was watching CSPAN, way way back in the day, before he became the "tie breaker". (He was still kissing military and Republican ass then, but that doesn't signify.)

In short, suckers, I hated Joe Lieberman before it was cool. And I just decided to let you all know for no reason whatsoever.

Asian actors who have made my list

1. Rob Schneider, for those of you who don't know, he's part Asian. Enough said.

2. Jet Li, Jet Li, how could you? Not only are you going to be the villain in the Mummy 3, you're now in some horrible movie with that white guy from The Transporter. You quit doing movies like Fearless for this?

3. Jackie Chan, Rush Hour. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. Fool me three times...

Tai Chi Masters of Dim Sum Checks

Peter C. T. Li

Like two Tai Chi masters practicing the art of the sticking hand
my father and my mother-in-law pushed each others' arms in various
circular motions while fighting for the prize of the dim sum check.
The check would be passed from hand to hand,
back and forth,
up and down,
round and round,
in sync with the Yin and the Yang motions of the universe.

Both dueled to save face in the name of family honor.
Armed with ancient secret techniques such as
"Crane Plucks Check from Tiger's Claw" and
"Buddha's Benevolent Palm Tipping the Waiter for Check."
It was no surprise that my father would defeat
my mother-in-law each outing and pay for the lunch.

The only time my father lost was when my mother-in-law
snuck away from the table while he was busy eating the last
siu mai of the meal.
I named her technique "Fox Stealing from Sleeping Monkey."

It was an unwritten Chinese tradition of the dining martial arts
passed down through centuries from one generation to the next.

Dim sum and my in-laws at the China House Restaurant.

My family, not being Chinese of course, just brawled in Sav-on. Although my favorite technique, (ssh, don't tell) is to leave money in a coat pocket, in the car, or on their person. Although of course, in a place where it will not get lost, stolen, or end up in the washing machine. I almost always win too.

Ethnically Ambiguous?

Ages and ages ago, I was reading about the Angelina Jolie as Marianne Pearl thing which made me think. I didn't get to really think those things through, because of the whole moving back to America thing. It's kind of interesting which ethnicities people deem acceptable to "substitute" other ethnicities for.

As far as I can tell, black and Asian characters are ethnicities you can't put white people in. Blackface and yellowface have been attempted in the past, but is generally barred from mainstream TV and movies, because it's in bad taste, and more importantly, someone might sue.

However there are a ton of other ethnicities that are apparently more fluid. For example, look at the career of Cliff Curtis, who, for those of you who are wondering, is Keisha Castle-Hughes's dad in Whale Rider.

Mr. Curtis, imdb.com reveals is Maori, however, his acting career reveals he played Pablo Escobar in Blow, Amir Abdullah in Three Kings, Shiekh Faddallah in The Insider, Claudio Perrini in Collateral Damage, and Mort Whitman in Spooked. So that means a Maori actor has played, a Latino character, an Iraqi character, an Italian character, and what I assume to be a white character.

My point is that there are certain roles that casting directors consider to be racially ambiguous enough to cast people not of those ethnicities, and that's ok. I mean, how many Arab characters are played by South Asian actors? Or Latino actors? And also vice versa? My guess is no casting director would put a Latino actor in the role meant specifically for an African American. With Asian characters, yellowface these days takes the form of cultural appropriation, rather than actual yellowface. Although Angry Asian Man tells me that Rob Schneider does yellowface in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. (This is complicated by the fact that Mr. Schneider is part Filipino. But you know, that's just an investigation for another time.) However clearly Latino roles, Native American roles, Pacific Islander roles, Arab roles, and I would guess South Asian roles, sometimes, are all up for grabs. I would even be curious if Filipinos would be included in this grab bag of brown. Apparently some brown people in the eyes of the viewing public all just look kind of the same.

On the other side of the equation, I find it kind of hilarious that in Disney cartoons, voices are assigned to ethnically specific actors. Well, sometimes. I mean I'm sure B.D. Wong and Ming Na Wen are happy for the residual pay they get from Mulan reruns, but still, what is so ethnically specific about an Asian American voice, and if there is one, why is Eddie Murphy in the movie?

And then of course, there are headtrippy, well ethnicity-wise anyway, movies like The Matrix, where a black man plays the Yoda/Mr. Miyagi role, and some part Asian guy, passing as white, takes on the Karate Kid role. Does Keanu Reeves count as Asian either? That's also a story for another time, I think.

Amtrak Humor

Say what you will about the rampant inefficiency and perpetual lateness, the wackiness of the staff make it worthwhile.

"We are extremely sold out today."
"Folks, please remember that your cell phone conversation pleases no one but yourself."
"If you need anything, please feel free to ask us. If you weren't here, we wouldn't be here. If you don't have anything to ask us, then I have no advice for you."

Longtime readers of this site know

I love Mandarin pop. However any Chinese artist who uses the word "homies" in his rapping is automatically out. Without question. People who can use the word "homies" correctly and without irony are rare even in the US.

Don't mess with it.

That's why I like Jay Zhou Jielun, he knows his limits.